Monday, November 7, 2011

fall recipes

Holidaze are here..... I'm on a rosemary kick.

Brie Sliders
1 package those tiny pitas
1 slice of brie
4-5 baby portobellas
1 package baby arugula
2-3 sprigs rosemary
1 small shallot
your favorite balsamic vinaigrette dressing

Preheat the oven to "toast". Get yourself a knife, the brie, the pitas and a nice big ole cookie sheet. Cut the tiny pitas open pacman style, so you can put as much brie in there that will melt nicely and be delicious, but not so much that it spills all over the pan and makes a big mess or grease all over the outside of the pita.

Get yourself a nice cutting board, a bowl to put things in, and the rest of the ingredients out of the fridge. Stick the pans with the pitas in the oven, and get to work coarsely chopping the baby arugula and finely chopping the rosemary and shallot. Put all that in the bowl and slice the mushrooms in the way that it looks like a cross section of the mushroom. Take the pan out of the oven, slide the mushrooms on top of the brie and smash them in to hold them into place. Now think about the situation you are in. Are you serving these things immediately or later? Once you put the balsamic on the greens the smushy clock starts ticking, so wait until the very last minute to dress the greens and cram them into the pitas. NOM NOM NOM.

Cranberry Cheddar Casserole
1 bigass purple eggplant
1 stalk of brocolli
1/2 vidalia onion
10 whatever kind of mushrooms you like
6 cloves garlic
2 sprigs rosemary
the biggest slice of cranberry cheddar cheese from whole foods, shredded (we did ~1 cup, 2 cups would be glorious though. a sample of the cheese at the store was the inspiration for this recipe)
veganaise to taste (I used about 3/4 cup)
1 egg
lots of butter
breadcrumbs to taste (at least half a cup)

Cut up your eggplant into 1 inch cubes, cover it with water in a pot and boil the piss out of it for like 10 minutes or whatever. Collanderize it, and return to the waterless pot.

Cut up your brocolli, onion and mushrooms into even chunks (large or small) and mince the garlic too. Put that shit in a pan with sum butterrrrrrrr!! Stir it and make it smell good and feel squishy. Put it in the pot with the eggplant and stir it up.

Preheat the Oven

Time to make it creamy like a real, good, down home southern casserole should be. In a bowl, beat the egg, and combine half your shredded cheese, two "big spoons" of veganaise, 1/3 cup breadcrumbs, and your rosemary. Put this into the vegetable mixture and stiiiir. If it doesn't meet your standards of creaminess, add a "big spoon" of veganaise at a time until it is creamy as fuck.

Transfer this to your favorite casserole dish or big cast iron thingy. Make it smooth and evenly apply the rest of the cheese to the top. Some people like a lot of breadcrumb topping, some people don't for whatever reason. I think its the best part, so I would kill the breadcrumbs in a bowl and soak them in butter. Sprinkle all over the top of the cheese.


Sunday, May 15, 2011

in defense of leggings as pants

Frequently I hear "those aren't pants" in reference to folks wearing leggings either in reference to "that bitch over there" or in an angry Facebook status. Basically these people are haters who do not know what pants are. I like this one from Wikipedia (linked to above): "an item of clothing worn on the lower part of the body from the waist to the ankles, covering both legs separately" Wikipedia goes on to clarify that : "Leggings are form-fitting trousers of a clingy material, often knitted cotton and lycra." There, it is settled, Wikipedia made it so.

Unfortunately for legging-haters, not only do they not understand the definition of a word they are trying to defend, they are missing out on the awesome utility of leggings as pants. Wearing leggings means being unencumbered and feeling free. It means having your ass covered in public without all that extra, pesky fabric. It means when unexpected athleticism is required, you are able to give it your all and certainly won't get stuck in an escalator or on chain link fence. Realistically it usually means going from yoga to the grocery store and the bank on your way home- surely haters can understand this, or do they keep loose-fitting trousers with them for maintaining the integrity of pants? Leggings do experience two primary utility losses compared to other styles of pants: they do not have pockets and they are not formal.

So in conclusion, leggings ARE pants. ~*SpEcIaL pAnTs*~ to be enjoyed by all but not for every application. For errands, friends and bar fights they are indispensable.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

15 rows to ward off A/C

I found a singular white ball of Lion Brand's discontinued Thick n Quick Cotton in my mother's old craft closet. Not really enough for anything except to perhaps something to keep the A/C off my shoulders in the office. So I grabbed my #19s to make it stretch and cast on 43 sts and worked feather and fan:

Row 1: K2tog, *k, y/o, k, y/o, k, s1, ssk, psso, repeat from * 6 times, k, y/o, k, y/o, k, ssk.
Row 2: k
Row 3: k2tog, *k1f&b, y/o, k, y/o, k1f&b, s1, ssk, psso repeat from * 6 times, k1f&b, y/o, k, y/o, k1f&b, ssk.
Row 4: p
Row 5: k2tog, *k1f&b, k, y/o, k, y/o, k, k1f&b, s1, ssk, psso, repeat from * 6 times, k1f&b, y/o, k, y/o, k, k1f&b, ssk.
Row 6: k
Row 7: k2tog, *k1f&b, k2, y/o, k, y/o, k2, k1f&b, s1, ssk, psso, repeat from * 6 times, k1f&b, k2, y/o, k, y/o, k2, k1f&b, ssk
Row 8: p
Row 9: k2tog, *k1f&b, k3, y/o, k, y/o, k3, k1f&b, s1, ssk, psso, repeat from * 6 times, k1f&b, k3, y/o, k, y/o, k3, k1f&b, ssk
Row 10: k
Row 11: k2 tog, *k2tog, k, y/o, k, y/o, k, y/o, k, y/o, k, ssk, s1, ssk, psso, repeat from * 6 times, k2 tog, k, y/o, k, y/o, k, y/o, k, y/o, k, ssk, ssk.
Row 12: p
Row 13: same as row 11
Row 14: k
Row 15: bind off

or for the visual types:

\ is ssk, / is k2tog, /\ is s1, ssl, psso, X is k, O is y/o, - is p, and little x is k1f&b, work "backwards" from arrow

X <-2
- <-4
x <-6
- <-8
- <- 12
X<- 14
bind off <-15

picture of it blocking is on twitter @knitshits

Saturday, March 19, 2011

every morning

What to cram in my food hole and what fiber to cover my cram holes? Why some people leave color out of this equation on a regular basis is something I might have to wait until I'm older to understand.

Monday, March 14, 2011

knit bender hat

Here is my un tested pattern for the awesome crochet Bender Hat as seen previously on for @vayankeegrl.


~2 hat's worth of worsted robot colored something or another
some white
an ity bity bit of black
the needles for your gauge to be 4-5 sts to the inch (youll fsho need dpns plus maybe a hat circ if that's your style, also the little girl in the picture has a really loose hat on so i don't know if its for a grown up but just on a little girl... if you want a loose hat like her's i'd aim for 4 sts to the inch and for a more uh face hugging hat go for 5)
fiber fill
yarn needle


cast on 105 sts, work 1x1 rib for an inch or so, then plain knitting until your tube is 6-7 inches long

begin decreases:

k5, k2tog - repeat to end of row
k4, k2 tog - repeat to end of row
k3, k2tog - repeat to end of row (mark this row)
k2, k2tog - repeat to end of row
k1, k2tog - repeat to end of row
k2tog across, break yarn, thread through remaining sts, etc.

using dpns pick up 28 knit sts in the marked row.

knit 3 rows plain
row 4: k2, k2tog - repeat to end of row
row 5: knit
row 6: k1, k2 tog - repeat to end of row
row 7: knit, cram as full of fiber fill as you can, break yarn and run it through, tucking in ends.

using dpns pick up the sts you just bound off from the bottom end of the row. you can also not bind them off and just keep working but i feel like a "wall" in between each of the 3 seconds for the antennae will help keep the fiber fill put.

row 1 and every odd row row at least for now: knit
row 2: k5, k2tog
row 4: k4, k2tog
row 6: k3, k2tog
row 8: k2, k2tog
row 10: k1, k2tog
row 11: knit

cram full of fiber fill, break yarn, thread through remaining sts then pick up the sts you just bound off.

row 1: knit front and back of every st
row 2: k1, k front and back - repeat to end of row
row 3: k 2 k front and back to end of row
rows 4 & 5: knit
row 6: k2, k2tog - repeat to end of row
row 7: k1, k2tog - repeat to end of row
row 8: k2tog to end of row, cram full of fiber fill, break yarn and thread through remaining sts and finish.

return on cast on edge of hat and pick up 20 sts along the cast on edge and work in garter st for 3 inches.

begin shaping on a right side row:
row 1: k4, ssk, k8, k2tog, k4
row 2: knit
row 3: k4, ssk, k6, k2tog, k4
row 4: knit
row 5: k4, ssk, k4, k2tog, k4
bind off, weave in end, and repeat on opposite side (yeah, it will be one st off, nbd)

now for some eyeballs!

using white, cast on 5 sts on dpns
row 1: knit front and back every st
row 2: k1, k front and back - repeat to end of row
row 3: k2, k front and back - repeat to end of row
row 4: k3, k front and back - repeat to end of row
rows 5-7: knit
row 8: purl
row 9: k3, k2 tog
row 10: k2, k2tog
row 11: k1, k2 tog
row 12: k2 tog across, cram full of fiber fill but not SUPER crammed, you want the decreases after the purl row to sit flat against the side of the hat, break yarn and thread through remaining sts.

using a little bit of black embroider pupils on the cats on sts.

repeat for other eyeball. happy happy joy joy!

this part is a little weird, because i don't know what would be more comfortable to do for you, to sew the eyeballs on first and then knit the cover around it, or to knit the cover and sew the eyeballs inside of it. either way, use the purled edge of the eyeball to sew the eyeball onto the hat. i would put on the hat and somehow stare through the holes in the mirror to find the best placement for the eyeballs. maybe borrow someone else's head. in the picture it looks like the eyes are right over hers= friggin hilarious. place st markers on the edges of where the eyeballs lay, and pick up sts in the round and work in garter for as tall as the eyeballs are, bind off. BOOYAH, slap that shit on your fancy face.

ENJOY! this is the first real life pattern i've ever written so this was fun practice for me and please be kind and let me know if its funky anywhere! and share your FO! happy monday!